Things I've learned thus far in my 28 years on this planet

-That which you plan will never occur exactly as you plan it, so you might be better off not wasting the time it took to plan in the first place.
-While the smell of incense when burned in a dorm room in effort to mask the tell-tale odor of pot (a method only those high off the pot think will work) tends not to affront the senses, but incense burned in a 550 square foot apartment will give you a headache and linger for days.
-You should move at least every 2 1/2 years just in order to purge the crap you've accumulated over the span of those years.
-Life is seldom what it seems and never what you expected.
-Apartment walls are paper thin. If you can hear them, they can hear you. And although you regale acquaintances with the neighbors' particularly entertaining argument or involved sexual escapades, you know deep down no one would respond to another tenant's cries for help.
-The concept of eating all left-overs in due time is an evil plot against single people.
-Often acquiring a degree just proves you're stupid enough to spend a lot of money on a useless piece of paper - woohoo higher education.
-Inevitably you will need a glass/cup of milk the day after it has turned....the same holds true for fresh veggies.
-Nothing can stop freezer burn, i don't care how well you seal it.
-There will always be basic plot points where i and the author fundamentally disagree.
-If it is logical, it will not be employed by big business or any branch of government.
-Those who truly could make a difference will never be afforded the opportunity to do so in the current political climate.
-The haircut you receive will never look the same as it did when you left the shop....and this could be a good thing.
-In addition, one can only survive so long in a ponytail or baseball cap and although you may think no jury would convict if you followed through with your threat of bodily harm on she who made you look like a chia pet, prison, though potentially presenting a better chance of a dating life (if you're okay with that kind of thing) just is not worth it.
-Despite your hope in the contrary and despite the lovely moral lesson in The Breakfast Club, you really will forever be seen, in some respect, as the person you were in high school.
-Being a grown up isn't what it's cracked up to be.
-If you're doing something stupid and you know what you're doing is stupid, do it with gusto; it'll never be less stupid so you might as well enjoy it.