mustard seeds and ramblings...

Faith astounds me. It is something so simple yet something so complex. I believe that part, but not all, of the complexity exists because we want to complicate the simplicity.
We seem to trust so much in our daily lives with nary a thought, yet the faith that is integral to theology is dissected. I'm not encouraging blind faith, by any means, but it seems that we seek to locate holes, or to rationalize the sometimes incomprehensible to human minds. I live in a second floor apartment but i have never given a thought to questioning the structure of the building. This is curious because I have lived in a second floor apartment where our bathroom was literally falling into the first floor apartment. I am aware that buildings can fail yet I don't think about structural integrity as I fall asleep at night. I get in my car each day knowing that break downs and accidents are a possibility yet this knowledge does not stop me from driving. I surround myself with any of a variety of electronic devices containing circuitry that could overload or short, yet until my television exploded (okay, perhaps the literal exploded isn't accurate, but there were sparks and smoke) I didn't give pause (nor do i even after the event) to the possibly, admittedly unlikely, that dangers may exist. Quite frankly, I spend my day putting my trust in a multitude of things I know very little to nothing about and i do it without blinking an eye.
Scripture tells us that the faith of a mustard seed can move mountains. There is a song by Rich Mullins that says "And the Master says their faith was gonna make them mountains move / But me, I tremble like a hill on a fault line just at the thought of how i lost you. / Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are." The mere thought of such faith is awe-inspiring and humbling. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that such faith is real; such faith is alive.
As I sit on a warm summer's evening (and heartily refrain from bursting into The Gambler - i do so love Kenny!) listening to a sermon on the book of Job, I am struck by the scenario and by the faith of Job. What an amazing illustration of faith!
And what a sorry example my life is. The cost is minimal in the current day and age in the nation of my birth. What should be easy, as there is no opposition, becomes hard precisely because of the lack of opposition. The father of lies is crafty..."freedom" here is often enslaving. My view is muddied by the bright lights, the temptations of this "free" world. I place my trust - my faith - so frequently in the things of this world; the things that shall pass, all the while missing the eternal. Job was a man of faith, "blameless and upright". The depth of his faith is what made him a prime candidate for his ordeal. God knew that Job wouldn't waver. There was nothing that could happen that would cause Job to turn away. This astounds me. And leaves me broken. What is my faith? Could God move mountains through me? Certainly! But do I trust that He would? Oh, I have faith. I believe that God is good....but i've discovered that I don't quite conceptualize "good" in the "abundant life" type of way but rather in an "eat your vegetables" type of way. WOW. I know my time and God's time are often different, but where did my mind come up with my good and God's good being different? I find that I am often afraid to trust the good...i spend time waiting for the other shoe to drop. (not that there's anything in my life that emphasizes this right now, but I made this discovery in the past 6 or so months and sense i'm in a stream of consciousness faith topic, i'm running with it) But the kicker is this the "good" doesn't and shouldn't, impact my faithfulness. I both deeply desire and live in terror of a life that cries "The name of the Lord be praised" in all circumstances. What God could do with a life so surrendered!
All of creation is under the dominion of God. All creation except man. We have been given free will; we must give dominion by daily climbing onto the alter and proclaiming Him Lord.
(At this point I freely admit my lack of main idea)
If I truly believe what I profess, surrender should be easy. For I know God's character. I rest in his love. I am astounded by grace. I can point to time and time again where God has sustained me. Yet amazingly enough I struggle to surrender. Coming like the children, with the simple, trusting faith, seems so foreign.
No, I don't have all the answers, but I know the only answer i need is faith. God is in his heaven and God is in control. I have nothing to fear and great cause to rejoice. That is all it boils down to ultimately. Such simple faith is all i need and all i want.